3-Minute Guru

The Power of 'No!'

BY STEPHANIE SARKIS   

Around ages 2 and 3, children begin using the word "no" almost as if it is the only word in their
vocabulary.  Saying "no" is developmentally appropriate for a toddler.  They are learning independence and saying "no" is a way for them to assert themselves.

Here are some tips for what to do when your child says "no" repeatedly:

• Give your child a choice.  Buy giving your child options such as "Do you want milk or juice" eliminates "no" as an option.
  

• Stick to what you intended.  If you tell your child he has to put on shoes to go outside and he says "no,'' do not let him outside until he puts his shoes on.

• Try to curb your use of the word "no".  If your child wants to walk across the street without you, instead of saying, "No, you don't walk across the street without holding my hand," say, "You only walk across the street when I am holding your hand."  Sometimes, however, saying "no" to your child is your only option especially when it comes to your child's immediate safety.

• If you have to say "no", say it kindly but firmly.

• Remove your child from the situation that is causing the problem.  If your child continues to get kitchen utensils out of a drawer (even if it is childproofed with a latch), move the items out of  the drawer.
  

• Distract your child from the situation.  Redirect his attention to a book or toy.

• Sometimes as parents we enforce rules that don't necessarily need to be.  For example, if your child wants to buckle her own seatbelt, maybe she is actually ready to do so.  Just make sure shehas securely fastened it.  Remember, pick your battles wisely.  Is it really that important?
  

• Catch your child being good.  Make sure you notice and say something positive to your child when he is exhibiting good behavior.  Whatever you focus on grows.  If you focus on good behaviors, you will see more of those and less of the inappropriate ones.