Now playing in Boca Raton and Delray Beach: Bully, the controversial documentary.

Every parent of should see this – and more importantly, every middle- and high-schooler.

It will make you sad. It will make you angry. And maybe that’s the first step toward ending this problem.

The film follows five kids from towns around the country who are systematically tortured by their schoolmates: A gay girl bullied into quitting the basketball team. A boy hit and stabbed with pencils nearly every day on the school bus. A girl who gets so fed up, she brings a gun onto the school bus. Two other boys who end up committing suicide.

In some cases, the parents had no idea of the severity of the abuse their kids were suffering. In other cases, parents went to school administration, or even the police, and got no relief.

The most infuriating part of the film – beyond the cold-hearted, animal behavior of the bullies – is the school administrator in Sioux City, Iowa, who is so inept that people in the theater wanted to punch her in the face. The fact that she didn’t even pretend to take the parents’ complaints seriously – even on camera – just underscores how clueless she is.

(A blog has sprung up to monitor her continued employment – see kimlockwood.wordpress.com.)

Now that the film has a PG-13 rating, schools should be able to show it. Because the kids who really need to see it are the ones whose parents aren’t likely to take them.

This is a profound opportunity to talk to your kids about how to treat other people – and to extend compassion and friendship to their classmates who may be struggling. Tell them to stand up for the new kids, the different kids, the ones who are picked on and who don’t seem to have any friends. One kind word, one show of support can make a big difference.

Jackie Libby, mom of Alex, the boy abused on the bus, told U.S. News that every day since the film premiered, people have told Alex he is inspiring. He even received a few prom date requests. Those kind words go a long way, Libby said.

“It works the same way both ways. You can build them up or drag them down, but words are very powerful,” she said. (Read the whole report and watch a Bully trailer here.)

And tell your kids to report the bullying they see. Our local middle schools all have bullying hotlines and drop boxes on campus where kids can make anonymous reports. Make copies of the ones your kids submit. Don’t let administrators use “we didn’t know” or “no one reported it” as an excuse to tolerate this behavior. As parents, we need to follow up and make sure action is taken.

The makers of Bully are trying to change the culture. To get kids to stand up for tolerance. To make it cool to be kind. Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?

READ MORE

Parents of a student at Don Estridge High-Tech Middle School sue over bullying

At The Bully Project website, kids can tell their stories sand get ideas for how to make a difference at their school

At Boca Raton’s Promise, find resources for dealing with mental health issues in young people.

In 3-Minute Guru:

What to do when your child is bullied

Protect kids from bullying – listen to them

Bully is showing at Cinemark in Boca Raton and Regal in Delray Beach. Check showtimes.

Read a review of the film at MomsMiami.

- CHARLENE PACENTI

Karen Perry tells the story of losing her son to a drug overdose while he was away at college. It is a gut-wrenching thing to hear, her anguish in sharing that it all began with him smoking marijuana when he was about 15.  That she and her son’s father got him into treatment, transferred him to another college, and still …  a middle-of-the-night visit from the police brought the awful news.

Perry told her story to a recent gathering of parents at Spanish River High School. She is a co-founder of the nonprofit NOPE (Narcotics Overdose Prevention & Education) Task Force, which visits schools and parent groups all over Palm Beach County. Your middle- or high-school student may have seen the NOPE program in recent weeks.

As an educated parent, you may think you’ve heard it all before. But a couple of the task force’s messages were startling:

• Kids are dying because they are mixing one or more drugs, sometimes with alcohol, and sometimes in small amounts. A 13-year-old boy died from taking one Oxycontin pill.

• Kids are dying because their friends, afraid of getting into trouble, are not calling 911 when they see signs that someone is overdosing.

This has become the leading cause of non-natural death in Palm Beach County, with someone dying of an overdose every 28 hours.

What’s new about that? Eighty-five percent of them had more than one drug in their system. And that is a real danger for kids, who are experimenting with prescription drugs stolen from their parents – or bought from their peers.

Gary Martin, an associate dean at Lynn University and a former drug agent and homicide detective with the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office, said, “The kids think they’re invincible. They think they know about drugs and what they can handle. But no one knows what will happen when they mix them,” Martin said, adding that it’s not an issue of trust, but a matter of “risk ignorance.”

Many instances can be traced back to the home, which is the main source of drugs and alcohol used by kids age 12-14. (Solution: Keep track of how much you have and lock it up; throw out what you don’t need).

In 2006, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reported that a third of teens have attended parties where parents were present and alcohol was served to minors. (Remember October 2010 when two Boca Raton parties involving high-schoolers got out of control? Parents were arrested in both cases.)

It is against the law to serve alcohol to minors in your home – and opens you up to civil liability if anything goes wrong.

“You have to be the parent. You have to take control. You have to know what your kids are doing all the time,” said PBSO Capt. Jeffery Lindskoog.

The middle school years are prime for experimentation. The average age of the first use of alcohol or drugs is 13 in Palm Beach County. It used to be 11.

What to do

If  you find drugs or alcohol in child’s belongings, Martin advises:

• If it’s something mild – like marijuana – have a serious conversation right away.

• If it’s cocaine, heroin, ecstasy or prescription pills, treat it like a 911 emergency. Take the child immediately for blood and urine tests to see how much is in his system. Then go to a treatment center to assess the problem.

How to talk to your kids about drugs

Lynn Guelzow from The Hanley Center, a treatment facility in West Palm Beach, gave some guidance:

• Be honest with your kids about any family history of drug addiction or mental health issues, which may make them more susceptible – just as you would with diabetes, breast cancer or any other medical condition.

• Set clear expectations and consequences. The No. 2 reason kids don’t use drugs and alcohol: My parents told me not to. (The No. 1 reason: They didn’t like the taste.)

• Have five or more meals a week with the kids. Engage with them about what is going on in their lives.

Guelzow said it’s also important to tell other parents when you know their child is using drugs or alcohol.  They may not speak to you any more, but it’s the right thing to do.

Perry later learned that her son had a prior non-fatal overdose earlier and several people knew about it. No one told her.

To Learn More

For more information or to get help, visit NOPE’s website www.nopetaskforce.org, call 561-478-1055 or visit NOPE’s Facebook page.

- CHARLENE PACENTI

If you are the parent of a high school student, you most likely know that service learning has been incorporated into the requirements for graduation – and for some scholarships, up to 100 hours.

Volunteering can help students gain valuable real world experience, strengthen their leadership skills and connect with their local community.

But where to start?

Depending on their individual interest and availability students can volunteer at numerous nonprofit agencies, governmental organizations, school campuses and charitable organizations. With so many volunteering opportunities available it can sometimes be difficult for students to find the right organization to partner with.

Websites like VolunTeens.com and SweatMonkey.com have been designed to help students connect with organizations that are in need of volunteers. Both websites are free for students and have made finding local volunteer opportunities easier than ever.

The Boca Raton-based VolunTeens website provides detailed information on more than 100 prospective organizations in Palm Beach and Broward counties. The organizers will also compile a personalized list of opportunities for your child based on their interest and location.

Some local organizations that they have connected volunteers to include: Swept Away Media, JARC Community Garden, and Boca Raton’s Promise.

At SweatMonkey.com, students can sign up for a free account, link to their school and begin searching for community service opportunities. Once students are working with an organization, their hours will be logged on their account, which can be easily accessed online. School administrators can easily track the status of a community service project and verify a student’s hours. The site also offers a downloadable resume that showcases each community service activity.

TIME TO SERVE

• Palm Beach County Public Schools require 20 hours of community service for high school graduation.
• Most private schools require 50 to 100 hours of community service.
• Community service is now a requirement to qualify for the Bright Futures Scholarship Award: Florida Academic Scholars Award,  100 hours; Florida Medallion Scholars Award, 75 hours; Gold Seal Vocational Scholars Award, 30 hours.

If your organization offers volunteer opportunities for high school students, post in the comments.

- MERCEDES COPPIN