3-Minute Guru

 Monday, July 25, 2011

How to talk to kids about walking alone

BY SALLY BERENZWEIG AND CHERIE BENJOSEPH

There is only one person to blame for the senseless death of 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky:  the predator monster who stole his precious life. Our hearts breaking for his family and community, we still can't help but know – this was an avoidable tragedy.

We do not blame his parents, nor the camp. They were doing what they thought was in the best interest of the child. But what could we learn from this? It could happen to anyone’s child: city dweller, rural community, suburbia in a gated community, the predators aren’t choosy – they are opportunistic. Let’s teach our children life skills so they do not become easy prey.

Don’t have blind trust. Just because you live in a community where you feel safe and know everyone doesn’t mean you should let your guard down.

If teaching your child a new route to walk (for example, at the beginning of the school year), take the route numerous times together. While taking this quality time with your child, cover these topics:

•     Always take the same route

•     Stay on the sidewalk

•     Point out various safe places to go to – stores, specific people’s homes, along the way – if for any reason the child feels unsafe (if severe weather arises, for example.) Let your friends or neighbors know they have been designated as a "safe place" for your child to turn to.

•      Teach your child repeatedly that there is no reason for an adult that he doesn't know to ask him for help. They should be asking another adult. And if you are assuming that your child is old enough to walk alone, then he is old enough to understand the words abduction and predator, so share with them the about the safety issues they could face. If you are thinking, "I don’t want to scare my child," then ask yourself if you and your child are ready for this new responsibility.

•     Teach your child that if approached by a car or on foot by anyone, he should take five steps back (making himself less easy to grab – and not to wait around to be engaged in conversation but to yell "no" and run and tell a trusted adult what is happening.) Explain that they have the "right" to "not" talk to anyone.

•     Use the buddy system. It is always safer, even for adults, to travel in numbers.

•      Most importantly, trust your instincts. Let your child know that is it OK if he isn't ready for this new responsibility.