Teach your kids how to say NO - for their safety
BY SALLY BERENZWEIG and CHERIE BENJOSEPH
Does your child know how to say "NO?"
"Of course!'' you're thinking.
But we mean in regard to keeping themselves safe.
- Will your child say "NO" to the stranger in the car that asks for help to find a lost puppy?
- Will your child say "NO" to their friend who wants to post a mean comment about another girl on Facebook?
- Will your child say "NO" to a family member they love and trust that tries to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable and confused?
These are just some of the important times that our children need to know that they have the right to say "NO". However, if we constantly model for our children that other people's wants and needs are more important than our own, or that we want to avoid disappointing or having conflict with someone -
then this is what our children will do.
Keep this in mind when you are asked to do something that you don't want to or are unable to do.
How can you teach your children to say "NO" when it really matters?" Teach them:
- Adults they don't know should not be asking children for help for any reason; they should be asking other adults. You have the right to say "NO!"
- If you are walking with your child and a stranger pulls up to ask you something, use it as a teachable moment. Take five steps back from the car. Explain that as an adult you can choose to talk to this person or not. Tell your child that he were walking alone, yell "NO" and run to their safe adult.
- When your family members want to hug or kiss your child - do you force your child to do it? When we force our children to hug or kiss an adult at the expense of their own feelings we are saying that the wants and needs of the adult are more important than the wants and needs of the child. Don't do it.
Talk to your child beforehand - tell them to be polite, say hello but that it is their body and they have the right to choose whether they want to give a hug or kiss - you will empower them. If one of your relatives has a problem with it, let them know privately that you are teaching your child personal safety and would appreciate their understanding.
Keep in mind that most of the time a child is harmed it is by someone they know, love and trust.
- Communicate with your child and let them know that they can come to you with anything - without fear they will get into trouble.
For preteens and teens it is so important that your child know they can always use you as an out. Show them how you can take your time to answer someone (that you do not always have to react immediately). Teach and practice with them some very easy ways to say "NO".
"No, that's not safe."
"No, let's go do something else."
"No, I could get into trouble."
"No, I don't want to. Let's do something else."
"No, I don't feel like getting grounded for the next month." (Let them use you as an excuse.)
We all want the same thing . . . happy, safe, well adjusted, assertive, empowered children who will thrive in this world. Show them and practice with them so they can make the safest and smartest choices as they grow.
Local moms Sally Berenzweig and Cherie Benjoseph are the creators of the
KidSafe personal safety education program, which is taught in preschools and elementary schools throughout South Florida. Sally
and Cherie also offer seminars for parents in schools and corporations and workshops for teachers. Visit
their nonprofit foundation's website, join their Facebook group and follow them on Twitter @KidSafeMoms.
-
The KidSafe
Foundation is having a family seminar 7 to 8
p.m. on Sept. 22 at Sunrise Park Elementary School, 19400 Coral Ridge Dr. in west Boca. Free. Parents will attend a seminar, while separately, your elementary school-age kids will get an introduction to the KidSafe for Kids program.
|
