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3-Minute Guru


 Monday, July 18, 2011
Use summertime to 'tune in' to kids

BY KAREN DEERWESTER

Summer is the perfect time to reconnect with kids in simple, easy ways.  Sure, there’s still work and house obligations, bills and laundry.

But there are also longer days and warm nights.  Good enough parents can claim one little slice of the day or of the week to turn off some of the distractions that pull attention away from being present with children.

David Brooks, in his new book The Social Animal, emphasizes that "kids grow calm and in control with good enough parents."  According to Brooks, good enough parents:
Karen Deerwester.
          •     provide their kids with stable and predictable rhythms
          •     are able to fall in tune with their kids’ needs
          •     establish a secure emotional bond
          •     provide living examples of how to cope with the problems of the world so their kids can develop unconscious models in their own heads.


Summer might be the excuse and the sanity that balances the busyness of the school year.  One thing is certain - trying NOT to be distracted is guaranteed to keep you stressed and preoccupied with all the other obligations, goals and commitments you feel on any given day.  Focus instead on being present, making time for activities with your child that are ONLY about being together.

Make time every day, every week, for activities that make room for listening, sharing, and falling "in-tune" with your child.  Mornings, afternoons, or evenings - here are the most important things for your child's summer schedule:
  • Doing nothing: On a blanket in the back yard, in a living room or backyard tent, walking nowhere in particular, snuggling in a favorite chair, wearing pajamas all day.  A summer day is not complete if you haven't spent time doing nothing.

  • Water play: Hoses, buckets, balloons (supervised of course), bathtub, pool, ocean or lake.

  • Nature: Sticky sweat and sloppy puddles, bugs and dirt, stars and rainbows.  Outside time is mandatory.

  • Storytelling: Are you telling your child about things you love, things you did, silly and sentimental family moments?  Are you retelling favorite books and stories? Are you making up wild imagination stories? Awaken your inner storyteller and teach your child the mysteries within every person any time anywhere.

Of course, there are so many more ways to turn off the world and make a moment last a little longer - music, art, swings, eating popsicles.  

Remember?

Karen Deerwester is the author of "The Entitlement-Free Child" and "The Potty Training Answer Book" and the owner of Family Time Coaching and Consulting. She offers one-on-one parent coaching, as well as classes and seminars. She is also Mommy & Me director at B'Nai Torah Congregation in Boca Raton, where she works with mothers, infants and toddlers through age 2. Get more information about B'Nai Torah's early childhood education program here. Visit the Family Time website and follow Karen on Twitter @FamilyTimeInc.