3-Minute Guru

 Monday, May 16, 2011

How tired moms can get some sleep

BY KAREN DEERWESTER

Motherhood is stressful enough without overwhelming exhaustion.

Moms want patience, but patience wears thin quickly when you're tired.

Mothers want energy, but even the toughest batteries need recharging regularly.

Moms want to give their children happy memories, but too many days are shrouded in such a fog of sleep deprivation that mom can't remember breakfast.

According to David Brooks in The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement, "new mothers lose an average of 700 hours of sleep during that first year."

Add in nights taking care of a sick child, nightmares and night terrors, nights spent worrying about bullies, grades and college, or lying awake waiting for teens to return home safely, and you'll find millions of women sleep-walking through the day.

Moms rarely get the recommended seven to nine hours of restful sleep a night.

Moms can borrow a few night-time parenting tips for helping kids get more sleep:

•     Have a consistent bedtime most nights out of the week. Your body clock will thank you.
•     Let predictable routines prepare your mind and body for sleep - relaxing bath, good night rituals, "story time," and tuck-yourself-in before over-exhaustion hits.
•     Fall asleep in the bed. Falling asleep in one location and waking up in another is unsettling and reawakens the body to double check for scary monsters and to review tomorrow's to-do list.
•     Stay peaceful and positive through wakings.  Children have a precious "lovey," a teddy bear or blanket, for comfort.  Moms need comfortand relaxation strategies to keep tension away, too.
•     Find a personal ritual as the last thing you do each night.  For kids, it might be a special "I love you," a sweet tickle, fairy dust or happy dream sprinkles.  For mom, it might be a moment of gratitude remembering special people or events from the day.
•     Start the new day with five minutes for mom.  Kids who struggle with night-time separation do well to start the day with stories about how you checked on them while they were sleeping, embellishing your story with silly anecdotes or actual photos of them sleeping.  Moms sleep better if they aren't dreading a mad rush to meet everyone's else's needs before they jump out of bed.

•     Try The Ultimate Nap CD, by Jeffrey Thompson, that will give you 10, 20 or 30 minutes of pure bliss.
•     Get to bed earlier to make-up for night-time wakings.
•     Sleep in one morning a week without guilt.
•     Let go of the "shoulds" that you try to fit in after the kids go to sleep.  Burn-out is inevitable and not worth short-term gains.
•     Ask for help.  Doing it all is an impossible myth.  Share household responsibilities with other family members or look to creatively outsource mounting tasks.