How to raise a confident child
BY JANE SISOIAN
When you ask most parents what kind of children they want to raise, almost every time the word "confident" is somewhere in their answer.
Why wouldn't it be? Confident children with strong self-esteem usually grow up to be adults who lead happy, successful lives. Instilling positive self-esteem in your child is an arduous task and one that takes patience and persistence. How do we instill this simple, yet powerful human quality called confidence?
Begin by respecting your child as you would another adult. Children who are disrespected by screaming, scolding and sarcasm unequivocally suffer from low self-esteem. Instead, practice composure and speak firmly, yet calmly when disciplining your child. He will become more responsive and his self-esteem will not be damaged.
Another sure way to instill confidence in your child is to encourage instead of praise. This will help develop that inner self worth and not just a "praise junky" that needs those external words to perform.
For example, when a child gets a 100% on a test, a parent using praise might say, "Good job, I'm so proud of you!" A parent using encouragement might say, "Wow, you studied and your hard work paid off."
Feel the difference? Praise has the child looking outside of himself for the reward, while encouragement has the child looking within himself.
Giving your child Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMs) takes little time and it's a sure way to help your
child feel valuable. These are truly focused moments where you get down to your child's eye level, make loving eye contact, give a gentle touch, as well as your complete attention. These quick moments do not need to take more than a few minutes. A few GEMs a day can easily help raise a child's self-esteem and build his confidence.
Finally, remember to work on yourself if you suffer from low self-esteem or self-confidence. There are many wonderful books and workshops that can help. Seek them out and take action. Children mirror what they see, and you are the most important influence in your child's life.
Jane Sisoian is a third-grade teacher at Del Prado Elementary School in Boca Raton. She has 16 years
of teaching experience, certified in early childhood, elementary and gifted education. Jane is the
owner
of Positive Solutions for Children and Families and a certified parent
instructor of the Redirecting Children's Behavior course. She also
gives courses to children to help them reach their full potential.
Jane can be reached at 561-542-1700 or online at www.positivesolutionsinfo.com.
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